- Home
- Retirement
- Happy Retirement
We love our three grandkids, but we're not a summer camp.
By
Maurie Backman
published
25 March 2026
in Features
When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.
- Copy link
- X
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.
Contact me with news and offers from other Future brands Receive email from us on behalf of our trusted partners or sponsors By submitting your information you agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy and are aged 16 or over.You are now subscribed
Your newsletter sign-up was successful
Want to add more newsletters?
Delivered daily
Kiplinger Today
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more delivered daily. Smart money moves start here.
Signup +
Sent five days a week
Kiplinger A Step Ahead
Get practical help to make better financial decisions in your everyday life, from spending to savings on top deals.
Signup +
Delivered daily
Kiplinger Closing Bell
Get today's biggest financial and investing headlines delivered to your inbox every day the U.S. stock market is open.
Signup +
Sent twice a week
Kiplinger Adviser Intel
Financial pros across the country share best practices and fresh tactics to preserve and grow your wealth.
Signup +
Delivered weekly
Kiplinger Tax Tips
Trim your federal and state tax bills with practical tax-planning and tax-cutting strategies.
Signup +
Sent twice a week
Kiplinger Retirement Tips
Your twice-a-week guide to planning and enjoying a financially secure and richly rewarding retirement
Signup +
Sent bimonthly.
Kiplinger Adviser Angle
Insights for advisers, wealth managers and other financial professionals.
Signup +
Sent twice a week
Kiplinger Investing Weekly
Your twice-a-week roundup of promising stocks, funds, companies and industries you should consider, ones you should avoid, and why.
Signup +
Sent weekly for six weeks
Kiplinger Invest for Retirement
Your step-by-step six-part series on how to invest for retirement, from devising a successful strategy to exactly which investments to choose.
Signup + An account already exists for this email address, please log in. Subscribe to our newsletter
Question: We're 70-year-old retirees. Our children want to ship our three grandkids to our lake house for the summer. I consult two days a week and need quiet; my wife finds the idea of hosting all summer exhausting. How do we respond?
Answer: As a retiree, one of the most rewarding things to do with your time may be to bond with your grandchildren. After all, they give you the best of both worlds — adoration and love without having to be in charge of the tough decisions or deal with the daily struggles of meal negotiations and bedtime.
If you and your spouse are 70-year-old retirees with a lake house, it may be a real treat for your grandchildren to visit you there often. But what if you're being pressured by your children to take your grandkids for much of the summer so they don't have to worry about the cost and hassle of securing childcare and activities?
Article continues belowFrom just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Become a smarter, better informed investor. Subscribe from just $107.88 $24.99, plus get up to 4 Special Issues
CLICK FOR FREE ISSUE
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
Sign upIf you still work a couple of days a week as a consultant, that request could pose a problem if your job requires quiet (something kids aren't exactly known for). But even if you weren't working, you may (understandably) find the idea of hosting three children for the summer exhausting.
In a situation like this, it's important to set boundaries and say no if you feel the request is too much. But it's also crucial to do so delicately.
Don't be afraid to set boundaries
Sometimes, grandparents get roped into doing things they don't want to do because they're worried that saying no will be mistaken for a lack of love and affection. But Cory Reid-Vanas, LMFT and founder at Rocky Mountain Counseling Collective, says it's important to set boundaries in situations like this.
"Grandparents can deeply love their grandchildren and still set limits around their time and energy," he says. “Enjoying retirement and being a loving grandparent are not mutually exclusive.”
The key, according to Reid-Vanas, is to address the request early and communicate boundaries clearly. Rather than react once plans are already assumed, initiate a calm, proactive conversation about what you realistically can and cannot do.
Offer a compromise
You may be willing and happy to take in your grandchildren for a couple of weeks during the summer. There's nothing wrong with offering a compromise in a situation like this, says Reid-Vanas.
“Saying no to a full summer doesn’t mean rejecting the relationship," he explains. 'It simply means creating an arrangement that keeps time together joyful rather than exhausting.”
Instead of an all-or-nothing approach, Reid-Vanas recommends offering alternatives such as shorter visits, hosting one grandchild at a time, or contributing toward their entertainment in another way. For example, if the request stems from a financial need on your children's part because they can't swing a full summer of camp, you could chip in if that fits your retirement budget.
“When families approach this as a conversation rather than a demand, it becomes much easier to find a middle ground that respects everyone’s needs,” Reid-Vanas says.
Hillary Pilotto, founder and psychotherapist at Better Balance Counseling, agrees.
"A counteroffer isn’t a rejection," she says. "'We’d love two weeks in July' is a great compromise. This helps reframe the conversation from 'we don’t want them' to 'here’s how we can still show up for you.''
Pilotto says one of the benefits of being retired is finally getting to prioritize your own needs. What do you want to do this summer? A situation like this gives you a prime opportunity to practice putting yourself first. But you don't have to do that in a combative or hurtful way.
Offering up a compromise puts a positive spin on the conversation. It allows the discussion to focus on what you can do instead of what you can't or won't.
Consider the financial toll
Not only might hosting your grandchildren for the entire summer be a drain on your energy, but it might also be a drag on your limited resources. If you're on a budget, having to feed and entertain three children for weeks on end could mean stretching yourself too thin, leaving yourself financially stressed in the months ahead.
If you're willing to host your grandchildren for a portion of the summer as a compromise, have a conversation with their parents/your children about the costs involved. It's not unreasonable to ask your children to help foot the bills for extra groceries. And if the expectation is that your grandkids will be taken to the movies, arcade, or ice cream stand regularly, those are things your own children may need to be prepared to cover.
"Not every grandparent has limitless money to spend on their grandchildren," says Lisa S. Larsen, PsyD. "In fact, many seniors are on fixed incomes and are actually faring less well than their adult children."
That's why she says it's important to have clear conversions. In addition to explaining that hosting your grandchildren for the summer is more than you can handle, don't hesitate to explain that shouldering the financial burden of entertaining them is beyond what you can comfortably afford.
Read More
- Retiring Near the Coast? What Waterfront Living Really Costs After 60
- We're 65 With $3.9 Million. Should We Give Our Adult Children Their Inheritance Now to Pay for Daycare and Buy a Home?
- We Retired at 70 With $4.3 Million. My Wife Won't Spend 'Our Grandkids' Inheritance,' but I Want to Travel.
- I Retired at 63 to Enjoy My Free Time but My Grown Kids Want Help With Child Care. I Love My Grandkids, but It's Too Much. What Should I Do?
Maurie BackmanContributing WriterMaurie Backman is a freelance contributor to Kiplinger. She has over a decade of experience writing about financial topics, including retirement, investing, Social Security, and real estate. She has written for USA Today, U.S. News & World Report, and Bankrate. She studied creative writing and finance at Binghamton University and merged the two disciplines to help empower consumers to make smart financial planning decisions.
